Losing your virginity

Posted on: January 16, 2009


Recently I read an advice column about losing your virginity at an older age, say 28 years old.  In the column, the girl was described as someone who has adhered to a strict religion’s doctrine and as the result, has never had intercourse in her life.  Now that she has broken free from shackles of that religion, she wants to start a intimate relationship for the first time at age 28.  Her question to the columnist was how to lose her virginity at age 28.

I am not sure why a girl would need to ask that question, in my mind, unless you have very obvious physical deformities or an awful appearance, otherwise, a girl shouldn’t have any problem losing her virginity.  The easiest way, as advised by the columnist is to get wasted and ask any horny guy in a club if he wants to sleep with you.   To me, the issue is not how to lose your virginity, it is who you want to lose your virginity to… and under what circumstances…

Do you regret you have lost your virginity?  Or do you feel that you have not lost it FAST/EARLY enough….

I guess gender difference does play a role in answering this question.  To guys, many would be desperate enough to lose it to even a call girl if they aren’t that attractive.  That’s not to say that they don’t respect their virginity but more so that their virginity has no value whatsoever to society.  Society has placed little to no value on their pureness.  If you don’t believe, you can go do this little exercise. Inquire men of any culture, the answer would be the same and they would have agreed with me except for those adhering to the doctrines of any strict religion such as the girl in this story. Bottomline is it does not matter if a guy is a virgin or not.  In fact, it would have been problematic if the guy is still a virgin after marriage.  Because it implies that he either cannot perform or the girl has physical/emotional issues that are of concern.

I remember watching “The Virgin Suicides” years ago.  It’s been a while and I don’t remember the exact details.  What I remember was that a girl who lives in a home under strict religious doctrine, had lost her virginity in the school field and did not go home till the next morning.  I don’t think the movie should be named “Virgin Suicides”, rather, it should be named “Suicides of Four Virgins and a Vixen”   You must be surprised that I come up with such a title.  But our society is a very strange place.  If I am virgin and ask a random guy to help me lose my virginity then I would be described as a girl who has been taken advantage of.  Why couldn’t a society treat me as a girl who has taken advantage of a guy?  Just because I am a virgin, that does not mean that I am naive and does not know what I want.

~Being a vixen and a vixen are not mutually exclusive.  Neither is being a virgin an unnecessary condition for a vixen.~


1 Response to "Losing your virginity"

Dear Babysoftpink, my apologies for treating you as my agony aunt here. This is a wonderfully articulated article, and thank you. Virginity has been a personal struggle for me, I am religious but wouldn’t describe that as a weird or repressive religiosity. Yet I struggle with never having experienced a virgin. Goodness knows why, just a quirk of psychology. I have written an entry about this sadness and would like to ask your opinion on the matter – it helps to get the perspective of someone you don’t know. Strange thing to be sharing, hence the apology.

It is password protected – the password is michael

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