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Platonic Sex

Posted on: December 26, 2008

Platonic Sex (a novel and a movie of the same title based on her biography) is how I come to know Japan’s beautiful talk show host, the late Ai Iijima.   Many of her fans were saddened in the beginning of this year by her decision to retire from Japan’s entertainment industry.    I on the other hand, am saddened by the fall of a bright star on the Eve of Christmas (see The Japan Times Online).

Christmas Eve (the anticipation of Christmas) has traditionally been a time of  agony for me.  Putting aside the debate on virgin birth, the intend of Christmas (Christ+Mass) is for the celebration of the birth of a savior but reality often removes one from the day’s intended purpose. Many years ago, the day was marked by the rise of a star, one that lead the wise men to the stable where the Messiah was.

This year the day was tainted by the fall of a star.  Her words lead me to dive into the alternative meaning of “platonic sex”  If  “platonic love” refers to the deep spiritual bond between two lovers in the absence of sexual intimacy,  “platonic sex” could mean passionate love makings that enable the achievement of a deep emotional connection with the other.    If you can choose between “platonic love” and “platonic sex”, which would you choose?

Some would choose to avoid “platonic sex” at any cost.  It is not because the state is beyond one’s reach, it is more so that such avoidance enables the person to remain in his comfort zone.  The possible mental anguish resulted from achieving the state is caused by permitting uneasiness and unknowns into the person.  Though the soul feels less energized when sex is treated as an end to a need, the psyche feels safer and the body more relaxed.   Any other derivations from this face value is too much for the soul to handle.  So the natural alternative is “platonic love” for the longing and the anticipation, though intense, is easier on the heart for many.

If deep emotional connection really is that damaging to the person, then why do we still dream?

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